Halloween

Today being Halloween, a few co-workers have been asking a little about the American holiday. I try to explain to them that it's not really a holiday, we still have work, and it's really just an excuse for little kids to get candy (after all, every little kid's motto/driving principle is: getcandygetcandygetcandygetcandy) and young adults to party. Jim kindly showed them a few pictures of Halloween from Isla Vista yesterday at work, while I desperately tried to tell them, "America isn't all like that!" In the spirit of IV, I was thinking I could best explain the spirit for young adults by showing up today in costume, by which of course as a girl I could only mean my underwear. And then I would just explain to Microsoft that I was celebrating my American heritage, and that this was important to me. Actually, I wouldn't have to explain anything, because they would just think to themselves, "Oh, it must be an American thing." In the end, I decided to reverse trick or treat them after lunch instead.

However, some things the Chinese have decided it is easier to just let me get away with:

1) I think I went to the gym at 7 AM for a few days when the opening time had been switched to 10 AM. By the way, what business changes it's opening time by three hours? I mean, what's going on here? It's not a new business, and even if it was, isn't initially being off by three hours a lot? You gotta have a little more accuracy than that...

2) Getting in cabs when I'm within a few blocks of where I'm going. But actually I guess they don't always let me get away with this. In fact, I'm keeping a running tally of the number of times they somewhat yell at me when I get in the cab and point in the direction of what I'm looking for. I'm up to 2. For the record, I always know that I'm extremely close. I like to walk places and get lost, because it's a great way to see the city and explore. I don't feel like I see it the same way from a cab. But eventually I decide I actually want to get where I'm going, and to me it's worth the $1.25 for them to just drop me off at the front door, so that I don't have to re-orient myself and find the place, and most importantly, bother a Chinese person and force them to try to speak English and point me in the right direction. Evidently to those two cabbies it was not worth the $1.25. Which, by the way, doesn't make sense. Shouldn't you want to get paid for doing practically nothing?

3) Putting MSG on my oatmeal.

4) Going to the bulk bins at the grocery store, and buying 12.5 cents worth of something. One time, I didn't even have enough in the bag. It was too light for the scale, and the person couldn't figure out what was going wrong and why the scale was beeping at her when she tried to print the price label. In China I have never seen people get so much bulk at one time. We're talking 10 gallon-sized bags worth of snacks and candy. At first I'm not sure where it all goes...but then I remember my "hike" up Xiang Shan, that they've had to institute a one-child policy, and the fact that they are able to manually tag their web. Anyway, they must think I'm strange to get so little, but they never say anything.

massages, preparations, etc

My bed in the hotel is giving me premature, makes-you-feel-like-a-decrepit-old-woman, backpain.  So yesterday Jim and I went to get a massage, you know, the 2-hour, $9 kind.  And yes, that's even with the exchange rate sinking faster than an elephant in quicksand, but not as funny.  My masseuse could not have been more than 14 years old, and weighed maybe 0.85 nelson reveley's.  A shining moment was when Jim's masseuse leaned over and hacked a big one into a trashcan.  I wonder if China is the only place where hacking phlegm out of your throat is acceptable no matter what the circumstance.  Meals, formal occasions, massages...

 

Also, I've been making plans to go to see Ben Shell in Mongolia.  And I can't even tell you how worried I am about freezing to death.  I went and bought long underwear yesterday, even though we all know, long underwear is just plain ridiculous.  I'm going to land in Mongolia in full Arctic trekwear.  And then Ben can roll me back to his apartment/Mongolian ger where I will sit next to a heat source, not move, and not see any of Mongolia.

good news!

That "salt" that I bought to put on my oatmeal the first week...not actually salt.  I mean, what else would you expect that's a clear, grainy compound under the sign in the grocery store that says "#$%^&* / Salt & Sugar"?  Evidently...MSG.  I thought it tasted funny the first time I had it, and haven't put it on since, thinking it was some weird kind of Chinese salt that didn't go with oatmeal.  My friend "Chris" saw it today at my desk, and asked why I had it, and then looked at me all yao-ming-big-eyed when I said I liked it on my oatmeal.  So I started thinking about it and laughing hysterically to myself that it must not be what I thought it was, and asked my neighbor if it was salt.  When he laughed and said no, I made him look it up...  Anybody want some:

 

Headaches/migraines

Lethargy

Sleepiness

Anxiety

Panic attacks

Mental confusion/disorientation

Insomnia

Nausea/vomiting

Diarrhea

Stomach cramps

Irritable bowel syndrome

Bloating

Asthma attacks

Shortness of breath

Chest pain or tightness

Runny nose/sneezing

Extreme dryness of the mouth

Hives or rash

Palpitations

Flushing

Mouth lesions

with their oatmeal?

Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Maxim

"No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats --

approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less."

 

But if you send me your phone number, I'll call you and you can tell me about it.  (I just bought a U.S. phone card.)  You can also post your number here and another one of my friends can meet you in a reststop on I-95.  It's a great opportunity.  Don't squander it.

The Great Wall

the peace sign...still cool in china....

And meet Lu Min, one of my favorite Chinese, and unfortunately not one of the ones that speaks the most English. Good thing I am fluent in Mandarin. (Also the guy you probably speak with if you call my office phone and I'm not there, and now you can picture the guy that tells you "Emily is not kere, she travel to Kong Kong.")

So yeah, I went to the Great Wall...it was awesome...and I'm copping out on writing about it. But it all reminded me of a great poem, which I shall oh-so-conveniently post for you here to take you back to fall schooldays and autumn leaves. If I were in high school I would most certainly explicate this poem with my Great Wall experience as a backdrop, but alas, I grew up, and I have to work. Maybe one of these days while something processes I will research, write, and post here my 5-paragraph thesis with funneling introduction that does just that. For now, Robert Frost (a slightly better writer anyway):

"Mending Wall"
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbour know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, "Good fences make good neighbours."
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
"Why do they make good neighbours? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down." I could say "Elves" to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbours."

this must be some kind of joke

(make sure to check out the slideshow...that fake fire extinguisher really had me fooled there)

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/20/world/asia/20japan.html?hp

 

but to relate this to china, the chinese friends i have spoken to will say without any reservation or qualification they don't like the japanese.  "no, i do not like the japanese.  they attack our country, and your america too!"  "japan is small, so they come to attack our china when they run out of resources."  they asked me how the u.s. gets along so well with england, and while i felt totally unqualified to speak for the nation, i told them that i thought it was just because we were such similar countries with similar values.  this didn't seem to ring true to them or explain it.  they couldn't understand how we had such good relations with a country that we "just" fought 200 years ago....  it was an odd question for me, but not so odd when i think about china's relationship with taiwan and japan.

Military Museum

This past Saturday I went to the Military Museum, a hilarious recommendation from Bob Williams.  I was in the mood for doing something that wasn't a "must-see" and I'd be doing later with friends but still something uniquely Chinese.  Military Museum it was.

 

Usually when I walk out of the subway station in a new place, there's a good 90 seconds of turning in circles and repeated re-orienting of my rape me rob me kill me map, before I give up and walk up to someone and point to a place on the map and give them a puzzled look as I shrug my shoulders.  This time, it was easy.  It was that ridiculously huge nice mansion building looming over everything within 15 miles.  I got my ticket (I'm a little surprised it's not free...I would expect them to want anybody and everybody to come.  This idea is supported by the fact that it is the only subway stop that also has it's English name on the map.  Yes, "Military Museum" is the subway stop...wouldn't want anyone to miss it.), and went inside.  Inside was a three-story tall statue of Mao.  In talking to my co-workers since, these statues are in a lot of places; every University, etc.  I said to Manni, "Yup, you guys really love Mao."  She responded, "We respect Mao."  Jim tells me he was reading an interesting book in Germany before he came here about the true autobiography of Mao that I'm going to have to check out when I get back.  Jim decided it wasn't a good book to bring to China.

 

The museum was five stories of propaganda, but it was exactly because of that that it was interesting.  (For what it's worth, this is the one place I've been in China that wasn't packed full of people.)  It had all sorts of artwork, sculptures (you have never seen such happy soldiers), and paraphenalia from different military campaigns, mainly the revolution obviously.  I was so glad I got to see the belts, buttons, and binoculars they used during March 9-12 of 1943.  Right.  Anyway, interesting notes: World War II = anti-Japanese War, also, China has never been the aggressor but always been attacked (I need to study the history of this), there were no atrocities committed by the communists during the revolution, also, they put interesting Asian sauce on hot sandwiches in the gift shop on the 3rd floor that is delicious.  Suffice it to say that when I walked out of the building into the large square surrounded by inspiring music that made me feel like I was walking in a movie, I was thoroughly convinced of the sanctity of the Communist Party and about registered for it on the way out the gate.  No but really, speaking of registering for party, evidently most people are still registered for it (one English teacher I talked to said his class was 70% registered, and while I was surprised others in the group were surprised that number wasn't higher), but it really doesn't mean much to be registered.  Talking to my colleague Lei Wu yesterday, it's really a necessary social/status step for obtaining jobs, etc.  Also, students in China have to take a test before they go to grad school in China, with three choice sections and three required sections: Chinese, Math, and poliltics.  They want to make sure that their most educated and elite agree with their policies.  Honestly, that's what my colleagues told me about why the politics section was required.

"hiking" in China

So I think I have a new thread for that New York Times series "China: Choking on Growth."

The "hike" that a group of us went on today was more like being shuttled through a sidewalk/stair chute at the going rate with a few trees on either side. Seriously, there was NO room. Your pace was pretty much dictated by the rest of the people walking. It was actually a really steep hike, so that rate was pretty slow. It was therefore also very loud. Lots of chattering. But the crowning moment came on the way down, when the shuttling stopped, and everybody was looking and pointing at a tree. I looked, hoping to see something interesting. But no. It was a SQUIRREL. The traffic was stopped FOR A SQUIRREL. Incredible! I wouldn't have even noticed that I hadn't seen a non-human creature that day (though I saw enough humans to fill my yearly creature quota), but this certainly brought that point to light. No animals. Anywhere.

I was laughing hysterically and making comments to Jim. Then I started to tell them that "Squirrels are very common in the United States. Actually, we consider them pests. When I was younger, we had so many squirrels in our backyard, that my dad used to catch them in a trap." Then they looked at me big-eyed and, I am not making this up, said, "and then you ate them!!!!" to which I responded, "No, no, in fact in the U.S. we only really eat pigs, cows, chickens, and fish. No, we didn't eat the squirrels. My dad would drive it far away out into the country and let it go." "Ohhhh." We then returned to things we could symmetrically relate to, like why the hell do so many Chinese wear suits on overnight trains, on hikes, other entirely inappropriate places, etc. (The answer, evidently, is that these crackpots think they look good in suits, and don't care about getting them dirty. Baffling to the group, although more familiar to the Chinese.)

Another random note: I was discussing Baidu, the Chinese Google/extensively used search engine, with my friend Manni. It works much better for Chinese characters, so they use it to search the Chinese web. She told me that it involves a lot of manually-created tags for the different pages, and that's why it works so well. As someone that works in computer vision, and right now specifically automatic tagging, I was telling her how insustainable that is. I was also expressing surprise that the manual tags could be that extensive, to which she replied, "Yes, but this is China. There are so many people, so manual tagging is easy." I looked around at the river-of-people hiking trail, and understood.

By the way the picture of me and Manni Duan doing the peace sign at the pagoda on top of the "mountain," absolutely surrounded by people, would make a great photo for the NYTimes piece.

beautiful, handsome people

Jim (my co-worker from UCSB who is now here) and I were invited to go on a hike with another Chinese intern. We thought we were just going on a walk. But she sent us an email describing how beautiful and handsome and smart and SINGLE the other boy and girl are that we are going hiking with.

We didn't realize we were actually getting set up. We're very excited for our outing with the "beautiful, handsome people."

who is this dude?

...i don't know, but he's awesome.

other awesome morning sightings in beijing:
1.  man doing tai chi every morning when i walk to work.  i really want to take a picture, but fear the awkwardness as i walk by him for the next 2.5 months if he catches me.
2.  the BIGGEST cucumber i have EVER seen.  seriously, this thing was like 10th birthday party watermelon size.  the seeds were the size of regular cucumbers.  ok that last part was an exaggeration.  i also thought i saw yao ming-size green onions , but jen informs me these are indeed just referred to as "leeks."
3.  a person on a bike pulling a cart the other day.  the cart was only partially covered.  and inside were a bunch of red, bleeding carcasses.  probably headed to my cafeteria for lunch.  i avoided the meat that day, opting for the stuffed veggie roll, egg drop soup, and corn.

is there anything better...

than getting gingersnaps in the mail?

Raft of the Medusa

As last week was technically a holiday in China (you wouldn't necessarily know it if you saw a snapshot of the intern lab at MSRA), I thought it would be foolish not to take the opportunity to visit something that would be a little harder to get to on a normal weekend.  I'd heard mixed reviews about Xi'an, a town in the interior of China with a really rich history, and most famous for the Terracotta Warriors ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terracotta_warriors ...if you're not accessing the web in China), but I was really excited about what I heard about it so I decided to go despite the mixed reviews.  My colleagues were a little worried about me going by myself (but that's because it seems like they NEVER do anything by themselves...it's interesting to see a country full of only-children...) but I like doing things by myself much of the time and figured I could handle it.  I took the overnight train Thursday night, arriving on Friday morning.  After getting to Xi'an, I went to buy my train ticket back to Beijing (in China you can't generally buy your ticket back at the same time as you buy your ticket...you usually have to wait to get to the place you're going, which is fine if you know people in the place you're going, as everybody else on this train inevitably did, as they can go to the destination train station and buy the ticket for you...).  At the ticket window I was met with disaster.  If I wanted even a seat, not even a bed, but a seat, I was going to have to wait until Tuesday night, arriving back in Beijing Wednesday morning, making me miss two days of work.  I grumbled, called up some people that knew the system, they spoke some Mandarin to the ticket agent and confirmed, and bought a standing room ticket.  Awesome.

 

I headed to find a room with some people from New Zealand.  We knew that we were getting screwed on the room, but didn't think the $4 we were getting screwed was worth the hassle, and put our stuff down.  We headed to see the Terracotta Warriors, which were an hour out of town, and were AWESOME.  It was pretty cool to see something that old and hear about the history of it all.  It started off with this 360-degree video which embarrassingly reminded me of 300, that helped you picture the time period and the emperor that created them all.  (This emperor unified China for the first time.)  Afterwards I headed out of the site amidst people trying to sell me mini-terracotta warriors, smashing them against each other "see?  will not break!" to show me how high quality they were.  I was SO hoping to see an Aladdin reenactment, "will not break...will not break....it broke."  Instead, when I laughed at them and walked away, they said, "I love you!" which was just as hysterical.  Some woman tried to sell me a pomegranate for 5 yuan, and I asked her if she realized that literally every 10 feet for the next 10 miles (not exaggerating) other people were selling the exact same thing for much less, but they use the metric system in China so she didn't understand.

 

After I got back I went to the Bell Tower (picture above, but the pic doesn't do anything but the traffic and the green taxis justice...it's quite beautiful), the symbol of the city, where I saw this really cool musical performance.  The musicians were all dressed in traditional clothes from the Ming dynasty era, and there was also this dancer that did some pretty cool stuff with two ornate fans.  I think they should get her some ribbons or balls or whatever and she'd do great in rhythmic gymnastics or one of those other Olympic pseudo-sports.

 

We went and got some dinner, which was soup with soggy bread but delicious, especially with the spices that graced my streetmeat and street eggs and Bob had informed me came from the area.  The New Zealanders were hot to go out, but I was seriously ill from the pollution in the city (WAY worse than Beijing) and lack of sleep from the night train.  It about killed me not to go out (I was really kicking myself after they came in at 4:30 AM, showed me pictures and told me stories from the night), but I knew that if I was *sick* and standing on a train for 12 hours the next day, well, that might prove to be less than pleasant.

 

The next day my routine involved a lot of prepping for the overnight ride.  I went and did homage to two religions in hopes that their leader would take me to a train seat, at the Big Goose Pagoda ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_goose_pagoda), which was awesome and makes me want to learn about Chinese architecture, and also the Great Mosque in the Muslim quarter of Xi'an.  I ate some delicious food from the Muslim quarter, got discriminated against at a random booth (when I countered her price she stared me down, pointed towards the door, and said "GO"...she really should just put up a sign that says "NO AMERICANS ALLOWED" and save us all some time), went to the Drum Tower and saw an awesome concert (similar to the one at the Bell Tower), and prepped some more for my train ride by buying dry socks (it was raining all day) and the smallest box of tissues I could find for my runny nose, which still had 16 different mini pouches of tissues.  Throughout the day I got asked for many pictures and was told over and over again "You are very beautiful," but what they really mean is "You have blonde hair," it's just that they don't know the words "have," "blonde," or "hair."

 

I got on the train and started trying to upgrade to a seat.  No dice.  The aisles were packed.  People piled on top of each other.  Body limbs everywhere.  It was seriously a scene out of Gericault's Raft of the Medusa .  I'm pretty sure there was some cannibalism going on.  I started playing snake on my phone, actually, I was playing rapid roll, but a girl I met in line came and found me 7 cars away, spoke some Mandarin magic to another passenger, and found someone I bought a scalped seat ticket off of.  It would have been worth pretty much any price, but it was a nice $12.50.  The guy also spoke some English, and we chatted a lot.  He was encouraging me to take pictures of all of the craziness because he knew this must be so foreign to me, but my camera was in my backpack that was above the seats, and I wouldn't have stood up for anything short of a live birth.

 

While all this was going on, I asked anyone that spoke a word of English how they got their ticket, because I figured there had to be a way to avoid this sort of situation despite what the MSRA engineers had told me.  It really seems like there isn't; actually, there is, but that solution is that you buy a plane ticket.  I suppose back in Beijing I could have bought a scalped ticket for the way back, but there's little guarantee that your ticket is real when you do that.  My friends say though that it was only because I travelled during the holiday that I had a problem.  Any other time....that ship would've never left the horizon....

 

Xi'an...liked it...Chinese trains during holidays...could be better.

i stand corrected

i took a jab at Paint in an earlier post (http://moxtrot.blogspot.com/2007/09/i-made-it.html)

that was before i'd seen this, a recreation of the mona lisa using paint (edition 3rd grade):

http://tv.mofile.com/cn/videoplay/fullscreennew.htm?QKGBST2I&undefined

"Superduper! Superduper! That's nice. Way to go! Neato..."

Paint, actually an amazing program.

random other note: I went to an indie music fest in Beijing yesterday, mainly to people watch and check out how an event like that would compare to that in the U.S. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs actually headline the event, but pretty much all of the other bands were Chinese, and I'll be gone when the yeah yeah yeahs play anyway. The big Chinese act at the festival is an anti-establishment band called Re-TROS, and I read this interesting article about how they have to get their lyrics approved ( http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12847366). Their solution is foolproof: just lie when translating the English lyrics for the government (..."hang the police" becomes "the police are laughing"...). Chinese indie rockers look a lot like American ones, just with spikier hair, if that mean's anything. Seriously, the same clothes, same attitude... I got to check out this one piano rock band with a female lead which was pretty good. Probably would have been better had I understood more words than the Mandarin "THANK YOU! thank you!" she offered at the end of each song, like any other music act you've ever seen. The music was good though. We left when an American hip hop act took over, as I've seen that before...

phone

i bought a phone -one of the nokia ones straight from 1999, but you know what that means, that means it has Snake...

international code (011 from the u.s.) + 86 + 1 + 371-763-1438

i think it's really cheap with skype (maybe 2.4 cents per minute, or something). if you're calling with skype, you can leave out the international code and the 86, just pick call china.

national day

Monday was National Day in China, and as a result this week is a holiday for the country. And it needs one after working all weekend! National Day means a big influx of visitors to Beijing, so everything's been really crowded. Two friends from the tea house/internet cafe took me to Tiananmen Square on Sunday night to see it covered in flowers and lights. It was absolutely beautiful. They had several large-scale displays of Christmas lights, decorating things such as a mini-Buddhist temple, etc. It really all did have a Christmas feel for me because there was a spirit of camaraderie and general happiness that went with the lights. Kids and adults alike were running around with kites and flags. When we went to take a picture with Chairman Mao, I asked Yao Qiang (from the tea house) if I could take a picture of the stern-looking soldier that was standing nearby. She started shouting something to him, and then got really upset and seemed really embarrassed and scared, and Zaqew (from the internet cafe) started sternly lecturing her a little bit. The soldier came up and starting yelling at her and then walked away. We then shrinked away from the area (but not before I could be asked for a picture with several groups of people)... I repeatedly asked Zaqew and Yao Qiang what she had said to set off the soldier, but they couldn't translate it and all she could explain was that she called him the wrong thing. I'm going to make them translate it though the next chance I get with a dictionary nearby....

Monday morning I went back to Tiananmen to see the flag raising (which happens every day, but is particularly special/big on National Day). There were evidently over 100,000 people. I had seen people camped out the night before at 8 PM. We showed up at 5:15 AM or so for the 6 AM flag raising. I didn't get to see much, my friend Chris just lifted me up towards the end, but it wasn't because we were late. It had been raining off and on and the square kept clearing out, so we actually had decent spots. I think all in all, maybe 50 out of 100,000 saw the entire thing and were able to hear the anthem. The place was so crowded that I literally could not lift up my arms. I felt like I could've fallen asleep standing up because I literally could not move. At one point, I lifted my chin up to look upwards at something; it ended up above somebody's shoulder, and I had to push them to get my head back in a normal place. Also, the Chinese apparently do not use fences. Instead they line up police/soldiers triple thick to guide you where you need to go. It was all quite crazy....

In other news via Anand, they're instituting a ban on sexually provocative noises in China, in preparation for a Communist meeting in a month or so (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20983975/). I don't really get why it has to be timed with the meeting, but hey, I won't ask questions, or make sexually provocative noises.

Update: Apparently Yao Qiang called the "soldier" a security guard, when he is actually from the Chinese Flag Guard, which is "very sacred." Acutally, Zaqew said that she called him "ensure public security," but that doesn't make any sense, so I think he means security guard (of some sort).