An American in Beijing

Today's first guest blog, brought to you by Jen Albinson:

 

"You know you're in Beijing when you're on your fourth computer (the first three being nonfunctional), the gamer in the corner is hawking huge loogies on the floor, and you can't see across the street because of pollution."  -Emily Kay.

 

So, as Emily and I awoke this morning, well-rested (despite the hotel prostitute's two attempts to rouse us for some "mah-saw-gee" - one on phone, one at door), we decided that today was the day to blog.  We have had an epic week and have many things to share. 

 

It being the American week to celebrate families and friends over beheaded fowl carcasses, we brought Thanksgiving to Beijing.  While in DC, I loaded up on non-perishables.  Courtney sent two cans of pumpkin, and Safeway provided a pie crust, cranberry sauce, yams, dried cranberries, stuffing mix, and marshmallows.  Our friend Nandi, who lives in Beijing, offered his kitchen, and we invited our friends Hardy, Stuart, and Jim to join us.  Traditional Thanksgiving, right? 

 

We decided to complete the American Thanksgiving experience by buying our final groceries at Wal-Mart: Zhichun Lu.  They had the traditional greeters at the door, however they said more "ni hao" than "how'r ya doin'?"  Our quest for baking soda proved somewhat elusive.  We called on all the Chinese speakers we knew for help translating, and ended up purchasing yeast and two mysterious white powder substances shelved close to the yeast.  Our fingers were crossed that one of these powders would cause the pumpkin bread to rise.  We passed on the dragon fruit, but did nod to the local cuisine by purchasing some extremely long string beans.  

 

Our efforts at procuring baking soda, flour, and sugar, alas, went to waste.  When we arrived at Nandi's, we quickly learned that he does not have an oven (Nandi: "Yeah, I guess when I think about Thanksgiving, I DO imagine stuff coming out of the oven.")  He also lacked a can opener.  Let's now walk you through our planned menu:

 

Stuffing (350 [177 in Celsius, Emily would add] degree oven)

Sweet potato marshmallow casserole (400 degree oven, 2 cans)

Pumpkin pie (425 degree oven, 3 cans)

Pumpkin bread (350 degree oven, 2 cans)

Cranberry sauce (2 cans)

Green beans

Persimmons picked up at the Great Wall (very autumnal)

 

We had 4 guests arriving in 2 hours, and we were looking at a meal of green beans and persimmons.  We therefore opened a bottle of wine.  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! 

 

Just kidding.  Through the magic of the internet, we determined how to cook almost the entire meal stovetop, in woks.  Yes, we made a no-bake pumpkin pie in a wok with a soup spoon.  We chopped the vegetables on an extra kitchen floor tile.  Nandi generously went to the grocery store in search of a can opener and some new ingredients necessary for a stovetop Thanksgiving.  It all ended up delicious, save the sweet potato marshmallow casserole -- which can't be eaten with chopsticks anyway.  Despite Emily's attempts to inspire the building of a mud oven, we had to let go of the pumpkin bread dream. 

 

Things we are thankful for:

 

1.  Fish.  Namely: the massive one in the transparent shopping bag on the subway, and the one that jumped out of its tank and flopped onto the floor under my chair while I was eating an otherwise delicious lunch.

 

2.  Masseuses that don't understand no, shaking heads, gesticulations of "no/stop."  While Emily and I enjoyed a luxurious couples massage, the masseuse conveyed that he was willing to refill our tea and plate of raisins.  Despite our best gestures, shaking of heads, and limited Chinglish, we were somehow unable to convey "no" to the man.  More tea and raisins arrived immediately.  Being unable to communicate "no": an all new low.

 

3.  Crowded subway trains.  I was waiting for Emily when I received the following text.  "10 minutes late, couldn't get off train."  Apparently the car was so crowded that she physically could not get off at her stop.  She claims she pushed and shoved with the best of them.   

 

4.  Chinglish.  Doesn't someone know someone who speaks a little English?  Apparently not.  A highlight includes: "Lama beat it," referring to the acts of the Holy Ones at the Buddhist temple.

 

5.  Cheap DVDs.  84 of them.

 

6.  Construction.  You know how occasionally there's road work going on outside of your apartment and you want to scream?  That's the constant state of affairs here.  Apparently Olympics + Communist Party = nonstop construction.  Emily's hotel is literally under construction while simultaneously hosting guests.  The Lonely Planet sent us on a hutong tour -- and instead of wandering through quaint Beijing neighborhoods, we encountered a construction sandstorm.  We also picked out a vegetarian restaurant in Beijing, known for it's incredible fake meats.  We arrived to find a pile of rubble.  Meiyo.

 

7.  Saving face.  In a shame culture, when Emily brings her friend to Microsoft after hours to check email, rather than being individually scolded, an email gets sent out to the entire firm the next day reminding employees that interns are not allowed to have guests and to "be professional."  Oops!

 

I'm going to sign off, since the man hawking loogies is really taking it to a new level.  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  I'm thankful for my friends.

 

Love, Jen